A leaked email from WorkCover, describing the last Plantagenet king as a “lazy bastard” and “just pretending to be dead” has been strenuously defended by WorkCover.
The company that carried out the Work Capability Assessment test on the deceased king, whose remains were found in a car park in 2012, controversially found him capable of working in an office, or performing light manual labour such as driving a forklift truck.
A spokesperson for WorkCover said:
“Being a withered pile of smelly old bones that have been rotting under a car park for several centuries, is not in itself a reason to sit around all day not working. We have recommended that the King be dug up immediately and placed on a back-to-work scheme, and have his benefits sanctioned for being a blood-sucking, lazy old bastard.
The Bishop of Leicester, who led the king’s re-internment ceremony has criticised the ruling, saying:
“This is absolutely disgusting. The man’s been dead since 1485, and is in no state to pack people’s shopping bags or sweep up popcorn at the Odeon. He wouldn’t even make a good security guard for a sleepy village shop. Anyway, we’ve just buried him, and we’re not digging him up again. The poor old corpse won’t know if he’s coming or going. Leave him alone,”